Sunday, April 19, 2009

1025 Things Not To Do in a RPG

I'm in violation of:
367. No using excessive firepower to force the plot along.
396. I will refrain from using wildly inaccurate high explosive weapons in close quarters.
416. I will not substitute accuracy with enthusiasm.
608. The answer to 'who's got point?' is not the fireball.
718. Warnings given retroactively in battle aren't appreciated.
794. Pregen characters do not have cutesy nicknames, even if their real names are pretty lame.
902. Can't set the bad guy on fire until after I've blown the persuasion roll.
907. Can't use my attack bonus as a substitute for the skill: Hibachi Chef.

Multiple violations for Reuben:
602. Find Familiar scrolls are not a substitute for the hunting skill.

Something for us to keep in mind for the future:
709. Any plan is vetoed if it was obviously inspired by Boromir.
1143. Torching the forest doesn’t get me any XP for anything inside the forest.
1151. Our mission is to rescue the princess. Not to bring Sexy back.
1215. If I’m just a few XP from 16th level, I can’t just cast fireballs at random forests until I hit something.

Dagobert might consider:
788. "You take the scary one" is not our default battle strategy.
985. Even if it isn't in the rules, I have to use the same scale miniature as everybody else.
986. I cannot switch miniatures between each combat.

I should consider violating this:
821. My sorcerer will not take a level in druid just to make it easier to get to the flammable stuff.

I did not know this:
885. Halflings do not store food in their cheeks for winter.
1138. Fireballs don’t have a non-lethal option. I will ponder this after I’ve cast one at that guy we needed alive.

My personal favorite:
1281. The two primary types of Halfling are not flathead and Phillips.

And another thing not to do in a RPG:

No comments:

Post a Comment